Monthly Archives: July 2012

Lookin’ Good

She still looked good despite being dead 12 hours.

I shut the freezer door on Judy and contemplated what to do next – why we ever thought kinkysex.com was a good idea. We were demo’ing for our website how blood chokes – sleeper holds for you pro wrestling fans – could turn the old love lights on. But I held it for a second too long and her lights went out altogether. And since we had the camera turned on, I now had to dispose of both the body and the evidence.

I tried to think what Judy would have done if the situation had been reversed. Judy had the better business head between the two of us. There wasn’t a thing that went wrong she hadn’t found a way to capitalize on. Like the time the police caught us doing the demo on “unusual places to handcuff your lover” when the alarm we thought we’d disarmed at the Crate and Barrel went off at 3 a.m. Judy threw some edible boxers around my waist and while her explanation for why I was strapped to a picnic table featuring gourmet hotdog condiments didn’t impress the police, it did impress Jerry Springer’s producers. Shortly after our appearance we added a line of our own special gourmet condiments to our website and they were a big moneymaker for us.

Yeah, that Judy, she had the magic. Me, not so much. At least, that what she said. Come to think of it, she never liked any of my ideas. But suddenly one of them came back to me. It might just work. The idea for a new website, cannibalismtoday.com. I opened the freezer door.

Yeah, she looked real good for having been dead 12 hours.